Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Giggling about Googling for Zane Poets

"I want to test my strength, my power. But I need restraint."

I open with a quote from Zane Grey because I need restraint or maybe 'restraints'. I wanted to see where I showed up in a Google Search. So, because I didn't want to be too specific, I entered "zane poem" in the search box. I wasn't expecting 6,650,000 results.

The things I learned opened my eyes to a whole world of weirdness. There are dozens of poets named Zane and many of them are women. There's Zane Blythe Dalton, Thomas Zane, Gabrielle Zane, Zane Parks, Frank Zane (the body builder), Zane Jessica Holter, Matt Zane, Zane Parsi, Shafin de Zane, Zane Ivy, Zane Sterling, Zane Grogan, Samuel Zane, Zane Crawford, Tom Zane, Zane Remick, Zane Kunning, Zane Stein, Zane Trae Kearney, Parker Zane Allen, Zane Berzina, Zane Johnson, Serafina Zane, Zane Cabrera, Zane Jacobs, Lisa Zane, Zane Frost and finally a 2nd grader named Zane Henry. I read a review which said the poetry on Steven Zane's new CD is excellent.  So many Zane poets, I never would have thunk it.

David Bowie came into the list with the lyrics to "Buddha Of Suburbia".

Day after
Day after
Day after
Zane, Zane, Zane
Ouvre le chien

Is the last line really translated as "Open Dog" or "Open's the Dog". My French is not that good, but really?

Here's one for the books "The Meaning of Nursing Practice in the Stories and Poems of Nurses Working in Hospitals: A Phenomenological Study" was co-authored by Zane Robinson Wolf. She's not a poet, but it is a book of poems. The topic is a mouthfull.  It's a phenomenological study, I should have got that right away.  I had to look it up.  I made a link.

This next poem comes with a "Parental Discretion is Advised" label. It came up in my Google Search with the quote: "... hard-core, coochie-eating Zane metaphors with screams knocking walls, ..." Drawing a blank on what a "coochie-eating Zane metaphor" might be, I had to go there.
Here is a link to the poem "About Black Men". Seriously, it's nasty.

There still was the question of the "Zane metaphors", so the next eye opener was finding out that there is a woman, named Zane, who writes racy novels. That's where the "metaphors" were coming from. I needed to know that. I already knew there's a porno movie company call the Zane Entertainment Group. So I was already on guard when I found "ZANE'S SEX CHRONICLES POETRY SLAM". "Zane's Sex Chronicles" is a Cinemax TV show. They never called me.

For something a little more reserved try Zane's Poetry Corner. There seems to be no content. Just some advertising and a note saying, "Simple. Put your poetry here." Sorry to say that one Zane poet let me down.

Finally I come to "Zane's poem for Summer" a cute poem by a guy named Zane to a girl named Summer. I couldn't find his last name.

Zane's Poem for Summer

Purrrrrr - rrrrrrr - rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
[Right-front paw stretch "x" ]
Purrrrrr - rrrrrrr - rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
[Left-front paw stretch "x" ]
Purrrrrr - rrrrrrr - rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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